You already know that job searching can be a scary process. And, as you’re going through it, it’s all too easy to let your mind fill with negative thoughts and all sorts of irrational fears.
What if you rip your pants on the way into an interview or nobody tells you that you have burrito stuck in your teeth? What if you neglected to change the company name on all of those cover letters you copied, pasted, and blanketed the world with? What if your nerves get the best of you and you throw up your lunch all over that fancy, mahogany conference room table?
Whether you want to admit it or not, I’m sure some of that rings a bell. Searching for a new gig is intimidating, and it’s more than enough to have your thoughts swimming with all sorts of terrifying visions—no matter how unrealistic they might seem when you’re in a rational, levelheaded state of mind.
Yes, job hunting can be the stuff of nightmares—it can fill you with fear and anxiety so paralyzing, you have no clue how you’ll ever be able to move forward. Well, there’s nothing like a little shock therapy to get you over the hump.
So, take a look at these seven terrible things that can happen during your job search (both real and hypothetical!), and suddenly your own hunt will seem like an absolute walk in the park.
1. You Have an Allergic Reaction at an Interview Lunch
The company you’re interviewing with wants to take you out for lunch. “That’s a good sign!” you think to yourself as you climb into the car with the CEO and head out to a nearby restaurant.
There’s only one problem: The CEO is obsessed with shellfish, and you’re absolutely, positively allergic. But, when he orders a shared appetizer for the table, you stupidly think you can’t turn him down for fear of looking weak or uncooperative. So, you close your eyes, grit your teeth, and gulp down that food that you know is going to make you unbearably ill. “My job search is quite literally do or die,” you think as you choke down yet another bite.
Unfortunately, the allergic reaction hits you much sooner than expected. You break out in hives, your face starts to swell, and the CEO ends up rushing you to the emergency room. It’s not exactly how you wanted your interview to end. But, hey, at least you’re unforgettable!
2. You Trash Talk a Former Employer
You’re interviewing for a job you’re incredibly excited about, when your interviewer asks you if there was anything you didn’t like about your previous boss. “Well, she asked, so she probably wants the unfiltered truth!” you think as you prepare yourself for a long-winded spiel about what a schmuck your old supervisor was.
After your seemingly endless tirade about how much you hated that manager of yours, the interviewer gives you a blank stare—you can literally hear the crickets. After what feels like an eternity, she calmly responds, “Your former boss is one of my closest friends.”
Did you just feel that—your stomach dropping to your shoes? See, I told you things could always be worse!
3. Your Interviewer Reads Your Social Media Profiles Aloud
You already know that potential employers will be reading your social media profiles. But, for some reason, that still doesn’t really sink in—you still post what you want with reckless abandon.
That is, until you show up to an interview and the hiring manager has printed out screenshots of your accounts—and insists on reading them out loud in front of everybody. Suddenly, your Twitter bio that says “Professional slacker and margarita connoisseur” doesn’t seem so hilarious and charming. Hey, at least you spelled connoisseur right. You’ve got that going for you.
4. You Accidentally Send the Wrong File—Instead of Your Resume
You spend hours filling out one online application after the other. Before long, you’re on autopilot. But, we all know that’s when bad things start to happen.
Whether it was that gushy love letter to your old pen pal that you recently ran into at a wedding or the shots from that photoshoot where you dressed your dog up as different Game of Thrones characters—whatever you just submitted for that company’s review definitely wasn’t your resume. Cue panic now. This situation warrants it.
5. Your Potential New Co-Worker is Your Ex-Babysitter
You’re desperate for a new gig. So, when an old family friend offers to put in a good word at her company, you gladly accept.
When you show up at the interview, she’s there eagerly waiting to greet you in the office lobby. She foregoes the traditional handshake in favor of pinching your cheeks (apparently she has yet to realize you’re no longer a child). Just when you think the situation couldn’t get any more mortifying, she marches you around the office in order to explain to everybody that she used to change your dirty diapers.
You’re about ready to sprint out of there, when suddenly she’s showing everybody naked bathtime photos from when you were a baby. See where I’m going with this? Don’t ever think that things couldn’t possibly get worse—because, surprise, they can!
6. You Show Up Wearing the Same Thing as Your Interviewer
You’re feeling polished and ready for your big job interview. You’ve researched the company, rehearsed your answers, and ironed the absolutely perfect outfit. You stroll into the office feeling cool, calm, and collected—until you see that the hiring manager is wearing the exact same thing as you.
Even worse? She’s at least 30 years older than you and looks way better in it. It’s not exactly the confidence boost you needed right before your interview.
7. You Clog the Office Toilet
Nerves can do crazy things to your body, so you decide to make a pitstop at the office restroom before checking in for your interview. You have no idea what happened, but suddenly the toilet is overflowing—and it’s the only one in the entire office.
“Toilet clogger” wasn’t exactly the reputation you were going for—but it’s the one you’re stuck with now.
See? If you ever think your job search couldn’t possibly go downhill any further, remember these seven examples. They’re sure to make you see the bright side of your own job hunt—after all, things could always be worse.
