How To Make Unemployment Sound Better on a First Date

First dates can be nerve-racking enough without having the added pressure of trying to justify your job search. “What do you do?” is probably the number one question asked by anyone in any circumstance, and if posed during a particularly stressful period such as unemployment, it can be enough to send you into a self-doubt tailspin that ruins your date, your confidence, and your hopes of finding true love or your dream job…or, at least, it can feel that way.

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In reality, everyone knows what it’s like to be looking for a job and you really have nothing to fear. But here’s a handy response guide in case those nerves do render you a little speechless.

Tell them you’re a consultant…then quickly change the subject before they can ask questions.

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It sounds exciting and cutting-edge enough that they won’t ask you to explain it right away for fear of looking uncool.

Say you have a trust fund


But follow up by saying that your money hasn’t spoiled you, in fact, it’s given you more time for volunteer and charity work.

Or just tell them you’re doing volunteer and charity work


 – while you’re between jobs. Better yet, actually do that.

Pretend to be royalty in another country


Princess Diaries style.

Tell them you’re investing in ‘new technologies’


…and that if you said anymore, their safety would be compromised.

Say a figure came to you in a lucid dream and told you not to participate in the capitalist system for a while

As a plus, this answer will also provide a solid explanation for why you’re asking them to pay for dinner.

Say you’re writing the next Great American Novel


Tell them you’re ‘off the grid’


You can really sell this by whispering and looking around nervously.

Or, you could just be honest


Tell them the truth! That you’re sending out resumes and looking for the next role that’ll fulfill and pay the bills. We’ve all been there. Honesty is the basis of any good relationship anyway, right?

Written by

Kylie Anderson is an L.A.-based writer who covered employment trends for the ZipRecruiter blog.

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