Quitting a job is never easy. Anytime I’ve had to do it, I walked into that dreadful meeting feeling like my brain was scrambled and my stomach was in my shoes. I don’t deal well with high-pressure situations. And, needing to tell my boss that I was hitting the road? Well, that definitely high-pressure.
Unfortunately, there are circumstances that only make this situation even more uncomfortable—such as needing to quit a job that you were referred for.
Luckily, we’ve got the tips you need to make it through that exact situation—without running out of your boss’ office crying, hiding under your desk, or sending your supervisor a ridiculous “I have to quit because I’m moving to Mallorca!” email.
For the record, we wouldn’t recommend any of those tactics.
1. Take a Deep Breath
First things first, take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and pull yourself together. When you’re quitting a job (but particularly one you were referred for), it’s all too easy to feel an overwhelming sense of loyalty. After all, someone stuck their neck out in order for you to land this gig—so, who are you to up and quit?
However, you’re just as entitled to career advancement and happiness as everyone else. Yes, it’s great that someone was willing to put in a good word for you. But, that doesn’t mean you should be chained to that desk and position for the rest of your life.
You’re quitting for a good reason—a reason that’s obviously important to you. And, while you can appreciate the referral you were given, don’t confuse that with a shackle—you absolutely don’t need to stay in that job for the rest of your life.
2. Be Gracious
Once you’ve given yourself that pep talk, it’s time to head in and have that dreaded conversation with your boss. Remember, this is business—you’re not the first to leave a job behind. It’s nothing personal.
With that being said, you need to be incredibly gracious for the opportunity you’ve been given. Explain to your boss that you truly appreciate the experiences you’ve had there, the new things you’ve been able to learn, and the great people you’ve been able to meet. But, now you’ll be moving on to a new challenge.
You can even mention how grateful you are for that referral you received, as it’s what helped get you in the door for this opportunity that helped teach you so much about your career and yourself.
Regardless of what exactly you want to say or how much detail you feel you need to provide, expressing gratitude is a key part of any sort of “I quit” conversation. So, don’t forget to make your appreciation clear!
3. Provide a Heads Up
Once you’ve made it through that conversation with your boss, it’s courteous to give the person who referred you a heads up that you’re going to be leaving. You don’t want him or her to hear it from someone else or feel totally blindsided by the news—or, even worse, completely taken advantage of.
Whether the person who referred you is another employee at the company or a networking contact that had an “in” with the higher ups, have a brief chat with him or her (or even send a friendly email, if that’s your only option) to give an update on your future plans.
This doesn’t need to be anything overly complex or or detailed. Instead, something simple and straightforward like this:
‘Hey, Joe. Once again, I really appreciate the good word you put in for me with Company XYZ. I’ve had such a great experience as an employee there.
However, I wanted to reach out and let you know that I’ve decided to move on to a new challenge, and my last day with Company XYZ will be July 31.
Thanks again for being such a big part of this significant stepping stone in my career—I can’t tell you how much appreciate it. Let’s keep in touch, and definitely reach out if there’s ever any way I can return the favor!”
Again, it shows your gratitude (which is important when communicating with the person who initially referred you!), and gives a rundown of your plans—without sharing every nitty gritty detail. Plus, you open the door to also help that person out any way you can. It’s a positive end note that helps to make sure that person won’t feel slighted or used.
Needing to quit a job is usually enough to inspire a dry mouth, shaky knees, and ridiculously clammy palms. But, unfortunately, the situation becomes even stickier when you need to bid adieu to a gig you were referred for—that sense of loyalty and commitment can be completely overwhelming.
So, put these three tips into action, and you’ll be able to move on to your next opportunity with grace and poise—and, without burning any bridges.
