One of your friends already has a position at your dream company, and you want him to put in a good word for you. Your old college roommate works in your desired industry, and you want her to hook you up with a few connections. That guy in your book club seems like he knows everybody, and you’d love to pick his brain about potential job openings in your chosen career path.
There’s no doubt about it—your group of friends can be an awesome network to leverage when you’re seeking new job opportunities. However, there’s also no denying that introducing the career element into your relationships can complicate the dynamic a bit.
This is why it’s important to tread lightly when sourcing your friend group for job opportunities. Of course, you want to use those connections to your advantage. But, at the same time, you don’t want to make your friends feel used, abused, and totally unappreciated.
So, how can you walk that fine line and strike a perfect balance when it comes to managing your friendships and your job hunt? Well, you should start by staying far, far away from these four things.
1. Don’t Be Vague
Of course, we all value our relationships with our friends. But, that doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know about them—and vice versa. In fact, I’m willing to bet if I asked you about one of your friend’s careers, you’d likely just tell me a job title and maybe a company. But, if I pushed you for more information, you’d probably draw a blank. Sure, you can spit out what her business card says, but when it comes to explaining her true skills, experience, and desired career trajectory, you’ll miss the mark.
It seems funny, doesn’t it? You can feel like you know your friends so well, yet you’re all missing crucial information about this huge part of your lives—which is exactly why you can’t be vague when talking to your friends about potential job opportunities.
You already know that a blanket statement like, “I want a new job,” won’t cover it. But, something like, “I’m looking for a new job in marketing,” doesn’t quite cut it either. Marketing is a pretty broad field, and you aren’t giving any indication of the criteria you’d like your new job to meet.
So, instead, make it your aim to be as specific as possible by saying, “I’m looking to land a job as a content marketing manager with a small to medium-sized startup.” Yes, it might seem super specific. But, it’ll help you in the long run—it’s makes for less irrelevant and uninteresting opportunities you have to weed through.
2. Don’t Make Them Do the Legwork
In the end, it’s not your friend’s duty to get you a job. Needless to say, you should be the one putting in all of the legwork and elbow grease.
What exactly does this mean? Let’s say that you want your friend to put in a good word for you at his company. Don’t just send him in to talk you up to his boss and then expect him to do all of the follow-through. Instead, make sure he’s armed with everything he needs in order to make you seem like the qualified candidate that you are.
Ensure that he has a recent, polished up version of your resume to take with him. Or, better yet, ask instead if you can have the contact information for who you’re trying to reach, so you can help to cut out the middleman (and that inevitable awkwardness!) entirely.
The point is this: You shouldn’t expect your friend to do all of the heavy lifting when it comes to securing a new position. That’s your job.
3. Don’t Pressure Them
Just because you know someone who could provide a glowing recommendation for you, doesn’t necessarily mean he or she will want to. And, while that may sting, it’s a fact you need to quickly accept and move on from.
You absolutely can’t pressure your friends to recommend or connect you if they don’t feel up to it. In the end, it’s their professional reputations that are on the line, so they get the final say in the choices they make. And, guilt-tripping them in order to achieve the end result that you want? Well, it’s a surefire way to have your friendship go down in flames.
4. Don’t Have High Expectations
Let’s face it—your friend can only do so much for you. And, so many people make the mistake of thinking that since they have an “in” with the company in the form of a close friend, then they’re a definite shoe-in for that open position. But, that’s not always the case. In fact, a recommendation or inside connection only gets you so far.
So, don’t set yourself up for disappointment (and a potential friendship fallout!) by having high expectations. It’ll only serve to make your friendship more tense and one-sided. Approach these job opportunities as you would any other—hoping for the best, but prepared for the absolute worst.
Your group of friends is undoubtedly a great web of contacts to leverage when you’re hunting for a new job. However, you need to be somewhat careful when it comes to mixing work with your personal relationships. Avoid these “don’ts” when asking your friends about job opportunities, and you’re sure to handle those sometimes awkward situations with the utmost poise and professionalism!
