Before I had my daughter, making plans about the future seemed so easy. I loved my career and working full-time, and I didn’t think that would have to change. Luckily, I worked at a company that enabled me to have four months of maternity leave. I assumed that at the end, I’d be ready to get back to work and leave my child in capable hands.
But as the four months flew by, the idea of leaving my baby with a virtual stranger for eight or more hours a day was as terrifying as putting her on a raft and letting her float down a river. I worried that she might grow up with deep-seated feelings of abandonment.
However, the data doesn’t support these fears. According to a recent New York Times article, a meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, “children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.” Daughters fare particularly well when their mothers work, eventually completing more years of education and earning higher incomes.
As comforting as these statistics are, they’re not likely to make those first days back at work any easier. Speaking from personal experience, it does get better, as long as you feel supported and are properly prepared. Here’s some advice to make the transition a little smoother.
Before You Leave
If you haven’t actually had the baby yet, it’s impossible to know how you’ll feel once he or she arrives. But do yourself (and everyone else at work) a favor and be prepared to delegate as much as you can in case you change your mind. Also, be sure to know the details regarding your company’s maternity leave policy, as well as pay and benefits.
While You’re Away
The single biggest factor in making a smooth workplace transition is knowing that your child is in safe, loving hands. Start researching childcare options as soon as possible. The best-case scenario is to have something in place long before you walk out that door. Use this time to test-drive some options. If you’re hiring an in-home caregiver, being at home with them for the first month can help you observe the interaction between your child and the caregiver and iron out any kinks that could arise.
You could also try out different day care centers to see how your child responds. To learn more about potential child care options, click here.
Before You Go Back to Work
Give yourself plenty of time to plan before that first day back. Create meal plans and schedules for the caregiver, buy a portable breast pump and breast pads, stock up on breast milk, buy new work clothes and have a dinner plan in place for those busy nights when you return home.
If you plan to pump at work, make sure you know where to do it in privacy. The last thing you want is to have the IT guy barge into the “unoccupied” conference room to find you topless with a couple of plastic cups stuck to your chest. Companies are required to provide lactating mothers “a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from co-workers and the public.” If you don’t have an office or there’s no dedicated lactation room, be sure to ask for an arrangement that’s both secure and private.
Going Back to Work
When you finally return, it may take some time to readjust. Be patient with yourself. A lot has happened in four months and you’re not the same person you were before you left. Even if you’re stressed out about the new arrangement, don’t make any rash decisions right away. Try to lean on the support of your spouse and friends as much as possible, especially colleagues at work with kids. You’re a career person, but you’re also a working parent. One can help you appreciate the other. From this point on, it’s all about finding and enjoying the balance.
