What You’ll Do:
If you’re not pounding out code locked in a closet then you will be forced to impress our clients by whatever means necessary. Don’t get me wrong we will take VERY good care of you, we’ll even allow you out of the office for unlimited vacation.
We are looking for amazing people to hire because we are snobs about the type of talent we hire. This means that we have put together a team of incredible people that you might get the honor of working with if you meet the following requirements.
You have been banging out code for at least the past 3-5 years.
You can show me iOS apps YOU have created over the past 2 years.
Your iOS solutions have included significant server-side development.
Objective-C/Cocoa/iOS - you’re all about it.
You are Agile and you are a team (not party) player.
Your communication skills are better than the average programmer.
If we hand you a challenging problem you can’t sleep until you figure it out.
You suffered through four years of computer science classes and all they gave you was a lousy piece of paper or you learned everything you need to know from the school of hard knocks.
Think you’re up to snuff? Then, you should really consider this position because your Klout score will instantly skyrocket which is really tough since they changed the algorithm. Don’t worry that’s not all we have to offer, we have all the other benefits you have come to expect too.
Need to know more? Call Allacyn at 650-815-9376 or email your resume to email@example.com .
If you do send us your resume, we’ll look over your information as soon as we get it because we really do nothing all day long, but sit at a computer waiting for people to send us their impressive resumes. It’s OK- if your resume doesn’t impress us, we will just delete it and no trees will be harmed in the process.
All joking aside this is a great opportunity to work for a well-established software development company. Work on exciting projects for Fortune 500 companies and funded startups as a member of our amazing engineering team.
Work on challenging projects that stress your mind and make you a better programmer.
Work alongside some of the most talented brains in your industry.
Broaden your skills on the newest technology tracks... don’t become stale
Follow our lead and become disciplined in your practice, you can make as much as $200,000
Call me, Allacyn at 650-815-9376 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This is my company. Make it your company.