Looking for a job when you’re already employed can be challenging. One of the most difficult things about it is keeping your search a secret from your current employer, especially when you land a job interview that happens to be during your working hours.
If you’re not ready to tell your boss that you’re looking for a new gig, maybe one of these excuses can help you keep things under wraps.
1. “My carpool left me behind.”
If they ask why you don’t take a bus or a cab, tell them you’re feeling emotionally fragile as a result of being forgotten. Start talking about your mother to ensure your boss avoids the subject (and you) for at least a week.
2. “I have lice.”
There may be doubts, but no one will be willing to take the risk of finding out.
3. “My front door was stolen.”
You can’t be expected to leave the house wide open and vulnerable all day, especially when there are door thieves on the loose.
4. “There was a spider in my bathroom so I couldn’t get ready.”
This is a solid excuse that everyone can relate to.
5. “I got a grease burn cooking bacon this morning.”
Third degree burns and no breakfast?? No way anyone could be expected to work under those conditions.
6. “I’m having an existential crisis”
7. “My dog is having an existential crisis.”
Even if they don’t feel bad for you, they’ll almost certainly feel bad for your dog.
8. “The feng shui is off in house. I need to meditate on the perfect arrangement for my living room before I can do anything else.”
All work and no (feng) shui makes an unproductive employee
9. “My long lost child just showed up, and we have a lot of catching up to do.”
This one may require a little bit of extra work, depending on how nosey your boss is. Get creative with your backstory.
10. “My horoscope said it would be dangerous to leave the house today.”
This is an especially good one to use during mercury retrograde (pro tip: no one really knows when mercury retrograde is, so use this anytime!!).
11. “I think I may be possessed, I probably shouldn’t come in until I’ve been exorcised.”
Careful – check to make sure your boss isn’t an amateur exorcist first.
12. “I have reason to believe a hitman is looking for me, and I have to hide out.”
Again, backstory may be requested here – but don’t worry. Just say, “Trust me, you’ll be safer not knowing…if you know what I mean” and hang up dramatically.
13. “My ex just got engaged and I need to mourn.”
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